so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
