I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i think im in europe. pls send help
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
