I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
