Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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