Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
