Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
