your thong is hanging out like whoa
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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