Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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