I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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