So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
