I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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