How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
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