Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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