i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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