guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
