Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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