so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
