i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
