Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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