it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
