Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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