Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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