Your dad touched me again.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Randomize
