I heard we made out
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
