oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
