Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
