I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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