Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
