I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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