One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
