My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
My pussy is not your playground.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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