His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
