Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
