Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
FUCK WHALES
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