Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
