I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
