Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
