i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
