O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he fucked my hip out of place.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
