we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
