Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
