I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
