On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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