Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
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Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
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Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.