If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...