Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (435): Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood http://tfl.nu/j2rr
  Replies (57) Good night (9299) Bad night (1178)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands. http://tfl.nu/acvp
  Replies (42) Good night (4429) Bad night (1659)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear. http://tfl.nu/hyjr
  Replies (20) Good night (838) Bad night (6575)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday. http://tfl.nu/1ia2
  Replies (82) Good night (1287) Bad night (4825)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  you need to get laid.. and an oil change.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since. (1-815): you need to get laid.. and an oil change. http://tfl.nu/z8d3
  Replies (18) Good night (1828) Bad night (5089)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk http://tfl.nu/i7vt
  Replies (44) Good night (5732) Bad night (1457)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore http://tfl.nu/abxm
  Replies (8) Good night (1199) Bad night (3559)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate. http://tfl.nu/mnoh
  Replies (9) Good night (884) Bad night (4172)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it? http://tfl.nu/l4jt
  Replies (13) Good night (2559) Bad night (1409)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  all of the above

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after??? (1-303): all of the above http://tfl.nu/yvgg
  Replies (2) Good night (1550) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  that's how you measure success

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): that's how you measure success (1-401): By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday? http://tfl.nu/varj
  Replies (8) Good night (1349) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM! http://tfl.nu/tdzt
  Replies (0) Good night (523) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?! http://tfl.nu/4qzs
  Replies (1) Good night (290) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck http://tfl.nu/zw8y
  Replies (1) Good night (546) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up. http://tfl.nu/mgnw
  Replies (0) Good night (478) Bad night (171)

Randomize