He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
