at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
I hate when you're right.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.