Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund. http://tfl.nu/xrnk

Replies (163) Good night (32137) Bad night (2066)
Favorite
(910): View more from North Carolina

so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(910): so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway http://tfl.nu/w82l

Replies (17) Good night (1013) Bad night (3703)
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners. http://tfl.nu/xe1g

Replies (36) Good night (6850) Bad night (1049)
Favorite
(410): View more from Maryland

I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(410): I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night. http://tfl.nu/medf

Replies (13) Good night (4354) Bad night (1211)
Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice. http://tfl.nu/mxxc

Replies (19) Good night (6057) Bad night (1325)
Favorite
(916): View more from California

We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(916): We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever. http://tfl.nu/dui8

Replies (12) Good night (4031) Bad night (1276)
Favorite
(630): View more from Illinois

We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(630): We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives. http://tfl.nu/wwoi

Replies (5) Good night (3947) Bad night (929)
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon. http://tfl.nu/6d9i

Replies (13) Good night (6980) Bad night (1025)
Favorite
(831): View more from California

So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(831): So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that. http://tfl.nu/tpz4

Replies (21) Good night (2742) Bad night (3508)
Favorite
(817): View more from Texas

I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(817): I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night. http://tfl.nu/xdj6

Replies (7) Good night (1406) Bad night (789)
Favorite
(905): View more from Ontario

I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(905): I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it. http://tfl.nu/6c57

Replies (2) Good night (2211) Bad night (524)
Favorite
(502): View more from Kentucky

He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(502): He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on. http://tfl.nu/ri58

Replies (7) Good night (1192) Bad night (523)
Favorite
(505): View more from New Mexico

She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.

(1-506): View more from New Brunswick

Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(505): She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once. (1-506): Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring. http://tfl.nu/s5ra

Replies (7) Good night (2089) Bad night (357)
Favorite
(619): View more from California

I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.

(619): View more from California

.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(619): I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover. (619): .... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady. http://tfl.nu/q790

Replies (4) Good night (719) Bad night (259)
Favorite
(615): View more from Tennessee

By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(615): By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know! (1-615): Who is this? Did we just become best friends?! http://tfl.nu/l3le

Replies (5) Good night (842) Bad night (249)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: