apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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