So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
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Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
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My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing