Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I fill condoms, not promises.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
