During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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