plz talk dirty to me
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
