ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
