He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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