She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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