I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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