I accidentally had phone sex last night
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
