I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
my poor anus
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize