I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
