After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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