The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We had to coat check the pizza.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We're too hungover to prance.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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