You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
