considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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