Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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