Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
