is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
