it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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