...so i touched it.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
