You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she pinky promised me she was 18
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
