Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
