He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
